With Christmas just around the corner, it’s a good time to think about how to manage Child Arrangements when parents are separated.
You want to ensure that the magic of Christmas can be kept alive for everyone. It should be an exciting time with decorations sparkling, presents being wrapped, and food galore.
Plan ahead, as early as possible
Agreeing as early as possible about the arrangements is so important. Everyone needs to know what is going on, including the children. Good communication about these types of issues is often the key. You should also look at whether arrangements can be alternated each year. This avoids the need for further issues in the future.
Having a full and frank discussion about where the children will be on each day is helpful. How handovers will work can also assist.
There is no hard and fast rule to where the children should be at Christmas. Think about how the arrangements normally work during holidays. Try to keep handovers to a minimum.
This will help the children feel settled. They will be able to enjoy quality time with each parent. It is likely that you will both have to compromise in some way. Thinking about what is important to you early can help. Both parents will feel at peace with the arrangements well before the festivities start.
It can help to alternate days…
Some parents prefer to alternate the three main days of Christmas – Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. They alternate them with New Years Eve and New Years Day.
Others prefer to split Christmas Day itself in two. This ensures the children see both parents on that special day. What is best for your family situation will often depend on a range of factors. These include where you both live and the ease for your child of travelling. You must also consider whether you require a third party to assist in handovers.
Alternating who has the first and second half of Christmas Day is another option. This applies where the day itself is split. It is also something to consider. This allows the children and parents to both experience the magic. They enjoy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning on alternate years.
Consider phone or video calls on the day itself
It’s also a good idea to think about phone or video calls on Christmas Day itself. Quite often children will want to speak with their other parent on Christmas Day.
Arranging a time for this in advance is an important consideration. This is particularly true for younger children who may not have their own phone. Timing is also important. Try to ensure that calls are not being made in the middle of Christmas dinner. Avoid calling during that festive Christmas Day walk.
When agreeing plans try to stay neutral and avoid emotive language
When trying to agree plans with your ex-partner, aim to stay neutral. Avoid emotive language. Try and stay focused on what is best for the children. Focus on what works for all involved.
It is important to keep the children at the forefront of the decision making. It is particularly important to ensure that you do not ask them to choose between you both. Doing this will inevitably put them under unnecessary pressure. They will struggle trying to please both their parents.
Lastly, once plans have been agreed, set them out in writing. You can also put them on a shared calendar so that they can be easily referenced.
If you need support with Christmas contact arrangements, please get in touch with us today – familyenquiries@fsmsolicitors.co.uk call 01225 755621 or see our team page.