But we’re so different now. Wouldn’t it be better for the children just to stay with me…

Picture this scenario: two people from very different backgrounds have met, fallen in love and have embarked upon a serious relationship.  They now have children together.  Unfortunately, their differences are such that the relationship does not survive and the parents separate.  Once they separate, the differences between them become more and more marked.  It seems that they have nothing in common now.

Wouldn’t it be better for the court to consider who is the “better” parent?  And for the other parent not to confuse the children with their different lifestyle and style of parenting?

The answer is no.

But surely, one of the parents asks, it must be better for the children to be with me all the time.  After all, they don’t even go to bed on time otherwise.

Again, the answer is no.

The courts acknowledge that different parents may have very different styles of parenting.  The courts also know that the differences between the parents’ lives will continue through the children’s childhoods and beyond, and that there is nothing that the court can do to take away those differences.

But the court does expect that the parents will try to find a way to parent their children and work around and through their differences.

If you are experiencing issues such as this, and would like advice about your options, please get in touch with Ruth Jackson on 01249 444300.

Ruth Jackson, a barrister specialising in family law, has prepared a series of articles covering answers to some of the most common problems in family law.  We hope that these will help you with some of the common problems which barristers and solicitors see in practice. 

Of course, there are limits to what we can do on a website. We cannot give specific advice in such articles, and you should take your own legal advice before relying on what is written. 

 If you wish to consult us about your problem, we offer a free 30-minute, no obligation, appointment. 

The contents of this article are for the purposes of general awareness only. They do not constitute legal or professional advice. The law may have changed since this article was published. Readers should not act on the basis of the information included and should take appropriate professional advice upon their own particular circumstances.

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